With every coming day, I came to grow and before I knew it, I was in the runny nozed instituions due to face the un-disiplined frown of human nature. I appreciate everything that my mother tried to do for me, sending me to school at a young age but it was a rude adjustment. It marked the beginning of the complex, simple world that I now have come to know; I am still amazed with how little things have changed. We are a society of children with the same habbits and selfish desires of four and five year olds. We still have dirty faces not caked with mud or messy snacks but rather of our incompedence to mature. To seek the truth and do what we know is right. Anyone can see it, but it takes tears or a stiff napkin to clean the mud off your face. It makes me sad and sick at the same time...like I was then. I couldn't just walk away from it all, and I am still dependent on the school system as it is, if I want to have any decient future. No longer am I trapped behind the chain link fence; but still, things haven't changed.

Shortly after my mother became pregnant with her first child, my father died. It wasn't a plane crash, car crash, military accident, or any accident at all. I never really got to know him, but he got to know me. I've heard he was a nice guy but that phrase is a cloak of hollow deception. Regardless, he is gone now just like every other father persona in my life. They dropped the ball but that is ok cause I'll make up for it...some day.

I spent the earliest years of my life in my grandparents' home. It was a pleasant two story home with a little less than an acre in the back. I had a second-story room with an outlook of an ancient oak tree that was knarled by time. The pheasant's cries signaled the saturday morning coffee and life was simple in its beauty. Afternoons brought the fun of the water hose in the garden, and the night, stars and moon to reflect the brightness of the sun.

I was happy then, life was simple and I looked foward to every coming day.

Well you are probably wondering who I am and what I'm about. Well if you don't already know me then tough, but I've got a story to tell....it goes back pretty far, and it begins in darkness. There is no gray, or fence to sit on. I embarked on my journey blind destined to stumble.

Life began with me not knowing the meaning of life. I mean, if I asked you, "Wattya living for?" do you know?...Eight years ago that changed. I always knew who I was, but never really what I was living for.